Family Trips
They should be fun-filled experiences where everyone is just happy spending time with each other, relaxing and just being your plain old self. Why is it that I always have problems whenever I’m with my entire family? This was one of the worst trips I’ve ever been on, although I should be thankful for it, I wish I stayed home. I wish I didn’t even bother going… Why? I had almost no fun. The most fun I had was buying Starbucks. How joyful. 90% of the time I was annoyed and upset and tired and mad and bored. I was grumpy. I was sleepy. I was sick of all the little kids running and screaming and disrupting my sleep and making noise and just being plain annoying little brats.
There was nothing to do. I had no signal on my phone. There’s no one to talk to my age. I thought that the aunties would actually plan something entertaining for us kids to do but I guess no. Everyone was all anticipating the drinking for New Years and here I am just sitting here like… Okay. I actually might have been okay with our vacation in Tahoe if you guys didn’t have to have your stupid little side comments. Just because you’re adults, you think you can say anything you want and it’s automatically okay and correct. No. It’s not. I’m really tired of my family members who think it’s okay to say whatever the hell they want just because we’re family. How does that make any sense? Shouldn’t you treat me even better and closer? Yet why is it that you insult and criticize me only? That just puts me in a shitty and angry mood.
And why would you get mad at us for not doing anything while you guys were all drinking and getting drunk? First of all, there’s nothing to do. Secondly, it’s not like the kids can drink and shit anyways. And third, I’m the one who got fuckingtrash cans for you guys to throw up in. God. I’m just so freaking glad to be home. I just wish so badly that I stayed home. I’m so annoyed of everyone. I hate how everyone treats me like shit. I just hate it. This is why I never believe that ‘family is always there for you’ bullshit. UGH.
Now my sister is acting like a huge asshole to me when I didn’t even do anything. Fuckity fuck fuck. These feelings of wanting to hurt someone are coming back to me. I sometimes wonder how the fuck do I have all this self control to not stab somebody. I feel ashamed for feeling this way because I want to love my family but it’s hard. It really is. I just feel like crying. It’s so difficult to deal with your family sometimes. I know everyone has issues and are probably worse than mine but it still freaking sucks. It just does. Why does everything have to be so broken?
I just want you guys to leave me alone. I never try to initiate an argument. They only happen when you guys treat me like fucking shit. Why the fuck do I have to pretend that I’m okay with your shitty attitude? Cause I’m fucking NOT.
Tagged as: personal.
