All I’ve been doing lately is apologizing over and over for the same thing. It’s like the words “I’m sorry” are the only ones that could come out of my mouth. I’m sorry I feel like this. I don’t want to complicate your life by bringing you into mines. There’s no need for anyone get so close to me anymore since it’ll do you no good. It’s better off if you live your own life and I live mine. I don’t know why I don’t want to be close to anyone anymore. The more isolation the more comfort I feel in a way. At least this way I am assured that I could never hurt anybody and I myself would never run into any harmful casualties concerning my feelings. That guarantee of no harm is appealing to me but at the same time I crave affection. This makes no sense to me whatsoever. I’m just tired of hurting peoples’ feelings even when I don’t try to. It hurts me just as much to let a friend down or hurt them in any sort of emotional way. Why is everything so complicated?

Of course I don’t want to be completely alone. There will always be those close friends I will never leave and then those friends I enjoy spending time with or talking to. Sigh, I just hate being a downer.