jadeasaur
Dispute

Honestly speaking I don’t always agree with you. Of course you’re my parents and you always want the best for me all the time but there are times where I am basically forced to agree with what you think. It is impossible to always agree with somebody whether it may be something big or little. You guys tell me to talk to you about how I honestly feel but I really can’t tell you the truth sometimes for a number of reasons. If I were to express my true opinions or feelings, you wouldn’t respect it at all especially if it conflicts with yours. You wouldn’t try to understand me or see it my way. Never. You would quietly dismiss my reasoning and push your thoughts and opinions on me. Literally speaking, you’re forcing me to feel the way you do. Is this really how you should discuss things with me?

You aren’t even willing to change so how can you expect me to? That’s not how it works. I love you both but there are times where I wish you would actually sit down and listen to what I have to say. The lack of communication proves to be the real reason why nobody ever understands each other. Whenever I converse with you two, it ends up in dispute. I’m sick and tired of arguing about the same things over and over. I really wish you would take the initiative to actually hear me out. Maybe we would actually be a family for once instead of strangers who only tolerate each other because we have to.

I hate this stupid feeling.. where your friend is suffering and hurt and you’re just standing there not knowing what the hell to do for them. It’s as if your comforting words and efforts to make them smile just got thrown out the door. It really does them no good by simply telling them, “It’s okay. Everything will get better.” Cause you know what? Sometimes it doesn’t. Sometimes things just stay shitty and that’s how it is. You can’t just falsely pretend like everything will be okay because to them it sure as hell doesn’t feel like it. So what am I supposed to do? I feel so helpless and worthless. I want to help but I don’t know what it is I’m supposed to say or do to make them happy again.

I wanna talk to you. But for some reason I just can’t.