I don’t know what to feel honestly about everything. Like you said, you can’t expect me to be happy with what your decision is. You’re telling me to not let it affect me but what you’re asking for is impossible. I can’t just be okay with my whole entire life changing with you two. I tried so hard to just hold in those tears and pretend like I’m okay. I sat there thinking about anything but what you were saying, just anything so I can get my mind off of it. I don’t want any of you to leave. I don’t want my family to change. I really don’t but it’s selfish of me to even tell this to you. I’ll continuously just lie to myself and tell me it’s okay no matter what you do. I know you love me so much that you even put my happiness before yours but don’t. I just want you both as my parents to be happy because that’s what you both deserve. I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry that everything is like this. I wish so much that I could change everything but I can’t. All I want right now is just someone to lend me that shoulder to cry on. Someone to just tell me everything will be okay even if it won’t. I’m just so fucking sad. This is a whole entirely different kind of pain. I don’t think anything can compare to the feeling of your entire family breaking apart. I just… want everyone to be happy so badly. Why is this so hard for us? Is this so much to ask for? Nobody has been happy these last 3 years and now we’re all living but not feeling. I just can’t take this. I just can’t. I pray to God begging for his help but I feel like help is never coming. I just fucking wish everything could go back to how it used to be when I was little. I never had to worry about a single thing. Family problems? What are those? I want to be that naive innocent little girl who never had to worry about a thing.

But I can’t get what I want. You’re telling me you want me to be happy but I can’t be happy no matter what you do. I don’t want to live life without my parents both there. I just don’t want to. Life wouldn’t be complete at all. I’ll always have this sense of sadness just clinging onto me telling me things aren’t right. I’m just so unhappy with this. I’m not okay with it. Even though I don’t deserve this, you can’t do a single thing about it. You can’t. Why can’t you both just magically fall in love again and we can all just be happy? I know one day I will have to live life without you but right now isn’t that time. I’m still young. I still need you both as my parents. I need you so much you don’t even know. I still can’t make your decisions however. So I’m just going to pray to God hoping he will help you both make the best decision possible for everyone. I know that things won’t be the same but the least I could do is try to be happy with what I have. This uncertainty is embedded in my brain and I can’t ignore it. I wish everything would be okay again. I’m not a strong person at all. I’m easily broken. I’m sensitive. How am I supposed to deal with this new change in my life if I can’t even take care of myself? I’m living in this house filled with depression and all we’ve doing is trying to escape. And now, it’s finally hitting us all. I’m just so fucking sorry about how things are. I don’t feel like I can do anything anymore. I just can’t.